He is sufficient.

I have been hurt deeply in my past, and I allowed the pain to own me, I allowed it to warp my mind and I allowed fear to enter into my heart and paralyze me. I won’t go into details, but if you’d like to hear my story, I’d be happy to sit down and share it with you over a grande, soy, no water, chai tea latte and a slice of banana walnut bread. For months, years even, I have been carrying fear and pain, crying out to God, asking Him to deliver me and then being frustrated when I saw no progress.

          I started off this semester in a pretty bad place. I felt abandoned, rejected, betrayed, fearful, and most of all, distrustful of everyone. Things I had repressed from years previous came flooding back with a vengeance and feasted upon my tender heart. My soul was in such agony that it affected me physically; it caused me to shake from anxiety, which caused my heart to race uncontrollably, which rendered me sleepless and ultimately left me feeling completely defenseless. I was in despair; I was an empty shell of a person yearning for new life. I screamed, cried and begged God to rescue me, and when He would come to save me, I backed away and refused to let Him rescue me. He continually reached His hand down into my pit of despair and each time, out of a place of pride and distrust, I refused to let Him save me.  

          This past weekend, I had had it with myself. I was so tired of feeling broken, weak, and defenseless. I was in Waco, visiting one of my best friends, and the burden I was carrying was weighing so heavily on me that merely being conscious was a struggle. My friend saw this and asked me if I wanted to pray, and pray we did. We prayed for at least 3 hours, and by the time we were done praying, my soul had been set free and healed from deep wounds, petrifying fears, and recurring bitterness.

          Why this time? Why was I set free then and not months ago when I had continually been begging God to set me free? It’s simple really. I asked Him to set me free, and I believed Him when He told me I was free. I walked away from all of the chains that had been holding me captive, I refused to glance back at the pain that used to own me, and I proclaimed that fear could no longer cripple me. With Jesus, these things are possible, all things are possible. Jesus never left my side, even when I felt that I could not see Him, feel Him or hear Him. He was faithful then and He will be faithful until the end. He sacrificed Himself so I wouldn’t have to carry pain, fear, or bitterness in my heart. Jesus came to earth to love people, and through that love, set people free. We don’t have to walk in sin, addiction, fear, or pain. All of the things we hold onto, all of the things we allow to control us, to own us, Jesus came to send those things back to the pits of hell where they came from and offer us freedom and LIFE ABUNDANTLY. Jesus knew what He was getting into when He died for me. He knew what He was getting into when He died for you. He thinks you are worth it, and by the grace of God, you are. His grace is sufficient for me; His power is made perfect in my weakness. Let that sink in. His grace is SUFFICIENT for me, it is nothing that is in me that redeems me, it is His freely given grace that redeems me. His grace, His love, His mercy, that is what saves me. My heart rejoices in that truth, my heart trusts in that truth. My past does not own me, my fear does not own me, I am not broken. I am clean, I am pure, I am new, I am free. I have joy, peace, and life through Jesus Christ.

        

           Our God is not a God that is distant and angry; our God is a being that is near, He is a being that is love. He is here to save you, will you allow Him to?

“Hear the heart of Heaven beating, “Jesus saves, Jesus saves,” and the hush of mercy breathing, “Jesus saves, Jesus saves.” Hear the host of angels sing, “glory to the newborn King,” and the sounding joy repeating “Jesus saves.” See the humblest hearts adore Him, Jesus saves, Jesus saves. And the wisest bow before Him, Jesus saves, Jesus saves. See the sky, alive with praise, melting darkness in its blaze, there is life forevermore in “Jesus saves.” He will live, our sorrow sharing, Jesus saves, Jesus saves. He will die, our burden bearing, Jesus saves, Jesus saves. “It is done!” will shout the cross, “Christ has paid redemption’s cost” while the empty tomb’s declaring, “Jesus saves!” Freedom’s calling, chains are falling, hope is dawning bright and true. Day is breaking, night is quaking, God is making all things new, Jesus saves!”