Humbled.

I'm fickle. I'm indecisive and I make decisions that are not honoring or loving out of that place of fickleness. You see, my fickleness stems from pride. I think I know what's best for me, I think that I don't need to submit myself before the Lord, I think that because I spent some time reading my Bible earlier in the day that I can do no wrong. So here I am now, in a place of realizing that I don't know as much as I think I do; I have allowed pride to well up inside my heart and in that I made a mistake. It is so easy to cast the blame on someone else and allow them to carry the weight of the mistake on their own, but the more I pursue Jesus, the more I realize that it is completely necessary to admit that I fail too. Admitting failure is one of the hardest things in the world for me, my pride gets in the way and I can't see that walking in humility is what Jesus calls me to do. 
However, today, God revealed to me this theme of fickleness in my life, and He kindly reminded me that I'm supposed to walk as a child of light (Ephesians 5:8). I can't walk in the light if my pride keeps constantly pulling me back into the dark. The only way I can rid myself of pride is to humble myself, admit I was wrong, and turn from pride. Jesus is kind in showing me that He is constantly refining me (Isaiah 48:10) to bring Him glory, and that my heart will continually be purified by His refining fire. He doesn't leave me in the dirt broken and prideful, He picks me up, tells me He loves me, refines me, and places a call upon my life. He says I will be a light for the nations, that His salvation may reach to the end of the earth (Isaiah 49:6). He chooses me in the midst of my pride, my fickleness, and brokenness; He chooses me because He loves me, He has made me a new creation (2 Corinthians 5:17). So here I am, humbled, before the King of the Universe because He chooses me. Because He loves me. Because He cares enough to make me new, to forgive me when I'm prideful, and to humble me so in turn, I am able to love Him more. I am so filled with awe at the fact that the Great I Am adores and treasures me that pride has no room in my heart and is obliterated. Humility is what I am called to walk in, and I am so grateful that my Jesus walks beside me and teaches me how to humble myself before Him.